Discussion in 'Φ Know Yourself' started by Rose, Feb 14, 2016.
I read the first two long Houdini posts of this thread, and there is a lot of truth in there. We are getting the rare privilege to see into a sociopath's mind. It reminds me somewhat of the M.E. Thomas book called Confessions of a Sociopath. It also reminds me of a peculiar dyna that occurred at United People.
Sociopaths have the uncanny ability to recognize each other almost immediately. Both Bill Ryan and Stephen recognized each other as sociopaths (BS artists) from the start, but they ended up cooperating at first, each hoping to use the other for a selfish benefit. The peculiar dyna at United People was between AndyWight and UncleZook. They too recognized each other quite early on as sociopaths (BS artists), years before I did, but they were not too keen on cooperating. It was more like they couldn't stand each other. Sort of like "There's only room enough in this town for one of us." Yes, big egos. They couldn't come right out and call each other sociopaths, because then they would be questioned as to how they knew, and answering "Because I am one and know what they are like!" doesn't help the cause.
I couldn't figure out what these two had against each other. Both were my friends, and I naively thought I could help smooth things out between them. Yep, I was acting like the typical "blind" non-sociopath, completely unaware of what I was dealing with, and with my empathy telling me I needed to help them be friends! They had both charmed me, played me, deceived me, lied to me, and manipulated me, but it was subtle and well done, so I just didn't see it.
I have to give Andy credit for helping me see through Zook's game. Yet Andy had to do this without exposing himself as a sociopath to me, which is not an easy task. So I have to salute Andy for his "manipulations", as they were quite skilled. And when Andy did decide to remove the mask and tried his coup to take down Chicodoodoo, I finally figured out that Andy was a sociopath too and quickly gathered up the evidence. Andy then tried the same discrediting ploy that Zook is trying now against me, but like Zook, he simply didn't have the truth on his side. Andy vanished, so I have to say between the two of them, Andy was the more skilled sociopath.
Sorry, Zook. You're a skilled sociopath too, don't get me wrong, but you don't know when to quit.
Rose, I see that you like to let music do your talking, but I have to say that I am not always confident in my ability to extract the proper meaning from that medium, given how subjective it is. Could you possibly put into words what you meant to say with this song? In other words, translation, please?
Sometimes I am not in serious mode, Chico. Just as in my last sociopath/psychopath vid post which you correctly interpreted as filler material. I actually had a long account written beginning: " The part in Sociopath Next Door video explaining how corporations used Hare's checklist to recruit executives was chilling. I have found myself remembering...". I thought twice and three times about posting it, did some research, and decided not to.
I feel a bit like you are depriving us of valuable information. Please share. I'm sure you have lots of valuable experience that we could learn from.
I like lots of the music I have discovered on this thread and this forum.
Thanks, Rose... Sam
Good to see you posting again, Sam.
If you would ever feel like writing about what happened last year here between you and Stephen, I would be very interested. All I know is that it had something to do with Simon Parkes and for some reason Stephen asked later that you be removed as a member. Did you have a disagreement? What was it all about if you care to reveal?
Ok, Rose... I will do so. Give me a few days and I will have the post ready.
I should change that silly pic too.
Ok... this will probably come out in parts but I will keep it chronological.
I recall the Rulers of the World video by Bill Ryan and a guy facing the other way, then called "Charles." At that time I was into "waking up" since 2002 when I was handed a copy of The Biggest Secret. I was still in fear stages too at that time. I had been at Project Avalon as a member since December of 2011, but did not dive into it deeply until mid March 2012. The way I utilized that forum... it is no understatement to say that that forum and what I got out of it truly saved my life. That may sound melodramatic but I can assure you it is no exaggeration.
This was my first forum experience. Over time I made friends with folks and at one point had made friends with some of the mods. One of those relationships had become quite special for me based on the way we explored things in our many chats and voice conversations. This relationship was, for me, sacred. In time I learned that this mod was quite close with another mod who I also came to know and appreciate.
In early 2015, the mod who I had been most close to was asked to step down. I don't know the reasons. I would imagine that there were valid reason, at least to Bill and/or the other mods, but I never understood about why as it wasn't my business to know. Because I was so close with this mod as well as the mod's friend (who stepped down as a mod because of this), and because I felt a need for loyalty to those mods, I listened to their stories and accepted them as true. The stories (as one would understand) made it out that Bill had done them wrong and that Bill was some bad guy. I have since come to find many people who have similar things to say which frankly baffles me. But I am baffled based on my own experience. So anyways, just after the demodding (around January 4 or 5, 2015), I retired from Avalon - on January 13, 2015.
Because some folks may think there was more to my retirement than that... Note that I had never experienced anything difficult for myself from any of the mods at Avalon or the owner, Bill Ryan that I did not play a role in creating (except the one I will cite momentarily). I was never once vacationed though I did take a self imposed one week vacation. There was only one instance where I felt the rank and file membership, the mods who reacted and Bill himself took issue with a thread I created which did feel was a little unfair but Bill handled it diplomatically and I now have better understanding as to the concerns my thread raised. This occurred simultaneously to when that mod was asked to step down but neither had anything to do with the other. I will get to that thread in a moment as it is relevant to this story.
So after I left Avalon, I felt a hole in my life. I realized what that forum had meant to me and yet I was torn because someone very close who I had met via Avalon felt they had been wronged by Bill and eventually felt wronged by other mods. At that time I did not know what would unfold over the next 12 or so months but if I had... I would not have retired from Avalon.
Specifically Bill Ryan... And honestly, I am concerned about how this will be taken by the folks here but I have to be transparent. As I said at the beginning, Project Avalon literally saved my life. And I found Project Avalon because of Bill Ryan. I discovered Bill Ryan when I discovered Project Camelot. I have liked Bill ever since. Anyways... I allowed the opinions of others to be what I based my decision on to leave. I will never do that again. Not in this virtual world community. I will only make my own decisions for myself based on my own experiences. I will not join groups or clicks where I might find myself being pulled in directions I would not go on my own. I learned. I am now independent in this way. I also made a decision I will not create bannings or leave forums in some tantrum or to "make some point." For me there's far more to gain by respecting each forum and retaining membership than leaving or being thrown out.
I felt it important that I be very transparent about this because... because all of the rest of what happened in 2015 which includes the question you asked Rose which ended up that Bill gave me the opportunity to become a member of Avalon again.
I have read many posts here on inPHInet and it seems that Bill is not liked by some of the folks here. I do not have issue with that because each person has their own reasons in this regard. I feel bad for Bill but I certainly would never begin to assume I know better for another as to their own experiences. Still and again, Bill has only ever been kind with me or... direct with me when he felt it wise to do and I can say that when he has been, in looking back, he had a point.
My next post will get to the important stuff that answers your question, Rose, but I felt I owe it to you and inPHInet to be open that I am a member of Avalon and that I have a good relationship with Bill Ryan, that PA literally saved my life (and if asked and separately, I would be happy to explain how that all came about)... But that I am not here to speak either way about Bill Ryan other than how he was a part of this story which I would imagine both he and anyone else would have no issue with as long as I am truthful.
That story begins in the next post.