Untitled, unowned, unhindered

If there were a "wow" rating, your post #374, Rose, would have achieved it. I just happened to have written a potential ghostwriter today with regards to a "story" I hope to write. A good portion of that story involves the character, my father. The story regarding my father suggests "something" (involvement in an event... quite high profile of an event) that some of the names you listed have been linked to as well. In addition, as you mentioned... there is a completely separate but accurate link that played a direct role in my father's suicide involving gambling where my father owed several bookies when he died. But also, the amounts were nothing he could not have taken care of in short order.

I need to be very careful the way I write as of course, the way I wrote that comment above would likely lead the reader to believe that I believed he was "suicided." I best clarify that now. It is all but certain he killed himself. This occurred in 1979 and he was 44. There is a long shot it wasn't suicide. But there is also the possibility his suicide was motivated by fear that if he did not make himself permanently "gone" then perhaps his children's lives might be in danger. The official story was he did it because he was depressed because his wife of 13 years (my step-mother who loved my sister and I every bit as much as any mother could) and the posthumous diagnosis of either schizophrenia or bi-polar disorder on top of the depression. This may assist the reader in understanding me a little better too.

Yes... more intrigue. This is not at all my intention. Nor do I wish any attention. I do have a very strong drive to know the truth, be truthful and properly depict things. I also sense I have a rare (and perhaps foolish) proclivity to tell the entire truth even when it makes me look the fool or worse, an outright idiot... even a sometimes "bad guy." I do this because I found that when I do, I increase the success rate with regards to the changes I hope to make. Still, I am a work in progress with far to go.

In time this part of the story will come out. It can't yet. Fortunately I have a good deal of documentation and verifiable information which supports important elements to the story.

BUT! and this is also very important to the story... elements of the overall story (beyond just my father) involve otherworldy phenomena. Primarily synchronicity but not just ordinary synchronicity. Extraordinary synchronicity, provable, with artifacts and witnesses. In fact, I already have a professional statistician team waiting to begin some of the analysis which would be part of the book project. I just need that most very rightest ghostwriter. I already have access to all necessary funding.

How uncanny you bring this up today when I reached out to the one who may very well turn out to be that very most right ghostwriter who would actually be co-author and not hidden in any way.

 

That would be a world that is not run by sociopaths. I don't believe humanity has ever seen a world like that, but I too think it is highly desirable and possible to create such a world. I'm sure I have posts at United People about the harm secrecy does to us all, but I don't want to track them down at the moment.

Because sociopaths are always deceiving and manipulating others for their own benefit, they have a lot to hide, and secrecy becomes standard operating procedure in their lives. They will pretend to be open, honest, and genuine, but it's just an act to ensure their secrets remain secret.

Rose was just telling us about how Stephen did this to her. He did it to everyone. All the successful sociopaths do it, and the more successful they are, the more they have to hide. Sociopaths even use secrecy to control other sociopaths. To get into the higher ranks, you have to do something vile that can be used as blackmail. It may be pedophilia, or murder, or any other crime that would ruin your public image. They use this technique on non-sociopaths as well, whether it is true or a set-up. That's why they dig into your history looking for the most shameful things you have to hide, and if they don't find any, they can always create them. That's also why members of Skull & Bones have to perform homosexual acts in their initiation ceremonies, which are recorded. They know the power of secrets, and they use it.

 

I am spending more time now reading (and reading twice and three times) Chico's posts in the sociopathy thread.

I am reading them because I sense he has much to say about it and therefore I have more to learn about it.

I am reading it because of my own concerns about myself.

My comment about myself is not meant to get anyone to say "nice things" like... "I don't think you have to worry, Sam... perhaps you are foolish and gullible, but I don't see a sociopath." In fact, if anyone reading any of my posts might see genuine signs of sociopathy and thinks that in some cases that someone who might demonstrate sociopathic behavior can change, then by all means point it out and do so here publicly. I like what Chico said about keeping things public. In fact, I sometimes imagine a world where no one has secrets and no one feels the need to have them.

 

Up until recently (when I heard and confirmed that Stephen and Rhi were removed), I thought that this forum was Atticus' forum. I thought you (Rose) were only a straw man. Those were assumptions I had based on the impressions I received during my brief experience with Stephen and Rhi and how this forum was represented to me in those conversations.

After the Mr Hyde switch made by Stephen (and his threats) and then seeing how my account no longer existed including my posts and PMs (which included his threats), when I mentioned this forum elsewhere, I referred to it as "inphantile.net."

I apologize for this, Rose. If I come across a post of mine that uses that term, I will edit it.

Another example of an assumption I made which proves to be wrong.

 

Yes, there was. Whether it is still there or has been scrubbed is unknown to me. You don't realize the amount of censorship that goes on at Avalon. Lots of stuff gets erased. I have personally had posts erased. I'm surprised that statement of Bill's is even still accessible there.

The search engine at Avalon is no help either. There's something wrong with it, and always has been. I have rarely been able to find anything important using it, even when I know the exact text to search for. Searching for "Picasso" now brings up no post regarding Bill's legal difficulties, and I remember that there were many posts discussing it. Maybe you can find them. Perhaps the Avalon search engine works better for members. Much of the time, for me today, it returned an error that I had not matched the Captcha, when in fact I matched it exactly every time.

 

Hi Chico - was there a post Bill or someone representing Bill made that linked to this PDF?

If so, is there a link?

I am asking this because I want to know when Bill's statement was made public.

 

We were supposed to avoid this subject, but my interest in sociopaths and some synchronicity that occurred today drives me to answer this question.

The answer is simple. Bill lies. If Bill is the sociopath I have assessed him to be, his answer will be full of twisted truths and subtle lies. I will not get a truthful answer. I have witnessed this very phenomenon from Bill many times. I just witnessed it again, and I will show it to you.

There was a big to-do at Avalon about Bill's Picasso drawing, allegedly inherited from his parents, and a court case filed against Bill for fraud. To set everyone's mind at ease, Bill issued this statement on the Avalon forum. Look at the last bulleted paragraph, second sentence. Bill says, "The case was rejected by the court in 2010."

Now look at the court case record here. Search for case number 37-2008-00092580-CU-FR-CTL. The only action that took place in 2010 was this:

Kelly was Bill's female partner at that time. She was dropped as a defendant in that case. Bill remained a defendant in that case. On December 9, 2011, a judgement was issued against Bill for approximately $224,000. Bill lost the case. It wasn't dismissed in July 2010, as Bill claimed.

Note that Bill didn't have the money to pay back the art agent before the case was filed. That means Bill didn't have the money to pay the court judgement of $224,000 either.

Do we understand now why Bill is living in Ecuador? I believe there are outstanding judgements against him in the UK and Switzerland as well.

I'll stop there, as it is getting late. Keep in mind that Bill lies all the time. He just doesn't get caught very often, and when he does, he knows of ways to keep things hushed up. For example, he could threaten to ban me from Avalon for pointing out the truth. That works more times for him than you might imagine. Unfortunately, I care far more about the truth than I do about membership at Avalon.

 

I enjoy conversing with you. I also get it you have your opinion about Bill. I don't care to change it and wouldn't try.

I would ask you though, how can we (all of us which includes full blown sociopaths, trained to be sociopaths, influenced to behave sociopathically, bi-poles like me that swing between empathy and sociopathic behavior, mostly not sociopathic folks and folks who are almost 100% void of any sociopathic tendencies) deal with a planet of over 7 billion people who collectively are dominating all life here with the sociopathy factor in place?

Are we able to make headway by hammering to death any one being one of us, a group of us, many of us that may form many groups of us might identify as "one of those sociopaths" continuously on various internet forums, blogs, videos and other media?

What I have begun to do of late is not to try and decide this person is this or that person is that so much as to identify behavior when it occurs that I find unacceptable. As sociopathy is to you, Chico, something that should be featured over and over, my pet peeve is deception. I do not like deception. I do not like the games that occur due to the honoring of deception. In fact, I can't stand it. In fact, I believe the root problem with everything going on that affects our lives negatively begins with deception. Its my opinion that deception begins in deceiving oneself. I find many in the alternative media who love to claim they know how it is and that "you" (not you, Chico... the generic "you') are deceiving yourself. My opinion is that only the individual themselves can get to the roots of their own self deceptions. "God" knows I try... I get the feeling from reading so many of your posts, Chico, that you work hard on the same.

I honor your heavy and continuous focus with sociopathy. I have been expanding much of my own investigations into the matter. I have looked even harder into my own mirror. I am anticipating your expansion into exploring group sociopathy. What I have found (though I do not pretend to have studied this behavioral aberration anywhere near as much as I can see that you have and probably lots of others have) is that the line between a sociopath and a non sociopath is seamless. I also have found that some folks make progress in either direction, sometimes slowly, sometimes in an instant. I have seen someone I thought I knew become quite different when they either join a group or find themselves pulled into a group. I have seen "rising stars" that I thought I knew become something I never imagined possible. I have seen myself do that and once I get out of it, find myself shaking my head wondering how the heck did that happen again?

Bottom line for me is that its all over this world in varying degrees. How does one with empathy isolate those he might feel pretty confident is a psychopath? I guess one must just be their authentic self (as much as there be one) and be vigilant in their own integrity (as much as one might have) while working to become more and more.

I sense there are other character traits that may be as important... here's a few samples -

Experience, wisdom, nobility of character, care, love, empathy, inner strength, patience, beauty and... compassion.

I found this list the other day and I printed it and placed it in a location I cannot help but gaze upon several times a day. When I do, I focus on these traits and ask myself (honestly) how I am doing in each. I have begun to do this several times a day. My loved ones and friends have benefited from my so doing.

I got the list from a thread on the Project Avalon forum. This is one example I do not wish to implode my membership at Avalon. I also see no wisdom in participating in Bill bashing because its a no brainer that someone who might do this might also lose their membership to Avalon. I don't see any of that as actions attributed to sociopathy. I see it as someone who built a house and simply asks that guests in his house be decent and respectful. If Bill gave me a reason to have a beef with him, I would simply take it to him and we would likely work it out. That's what we do in my home with my two adult sons and the wife and child of one of these sons. Life doesn't always go the way we each want it and so sometimes we need to work things out.

Now you did make a comment regarding how the donations at PA were represented to be used. I assume that was also at a certain point in time. Maybe the way it was represented at that time was how they were used. Maybe not. Why not write Bill directly and ask? Why not ask if things have changed and why? Maybe that figure you were told by a third party was a one month record and not an average. I don't know and to me it doesn't matter as I see the site as I do and have no issues and frankly don't care enough for there to be one. But if someone does, then write Bill and ask him about it. If there are third party sources saying things are not the way Bill says then decide what you wish to believe and then deal with it. Maybe the third party has a bias and might exaggerate. All these things are possible. How important is it? As Hillary says, "what difference does it make now anyways?" Ahhhhh but she's a sociopath and that answer is exactly what a sociopath says, right? I mean yes... that is very right, but my point is... the world is full of this. Wouldn't it be nice if we all did our full due diligence in advance in all of these matters and wouldn't it be nice if we all stayed vigilant at all times as to what the next prone to sociopathy human being will do to us next? But how realistic is that? I have been burnt. I have probably burned others. I don't want to burn or hurt others and I don't like to be hurt and burnt, but i will continue to take risks and... sometimes I will probably get burnt. All I can do is work on me so that I do this to others less and perhaps one day I may never do it again.

I feel I can only deal with all this by not being deceptive and (as you pointed out in another post and which I greatly appreciated reading) make sure all interactions are done publicly and/or that there's a record where no one has any claims it must remain private. That's it.... I really appreciated that post - some one was trying to back channel you and you wouldn't go for it. Thank You inphinet.net for that one. Thank You Chico for that one. There's a single gem I not only caught. I placed it into my current operational protocol.

Yes I rambled... I wish we could explore real solutions. Not ones like Chico listed at that high level which we know at least some are highly unlikely to succeed in any meaningful way. Let's look at just one of those and break it down and discover how it can be done where there's a realistic chance for success.

 

My apologies for completely missing the sarcasm! Considering that you mentioned several times that you might have sociopathic tendencies, and then you write something that a sociopath would write, you can understand why I would not recognize it as sarcasm.

While technically correct, I hope you can see that misrepresenting to the donors what the money is for is fraud.

That's $4600 per month tax free. I could live high on the hog with that, no problem. My income last year was far, far below poverty level, but that is by my deliberate choice. I dropped out of the economic system years ago, not wanting to contribute to a criminal system.

Ah, now I know to consider that your response could be sarcastic. Yes, the contributions of so many Avalon posters seeking truth pale in comparison to the fantastic yarns Bill Ryan conjures up. The forum would be bankrupt without him. (Note: I'm trying out a bit of sarcasm myself here. Is it working?)

Got it (wink). I will understand if you allow all my future Bill Ryan observations to pass quietly in the night without any notice from you. It's a terrible thing to be under a sociopath's thumb, and I wouldn't want to make things more uncomfortable for you.

Hmmm, it occurs to me that just conversing with me could have negative repercussions at Avalon for you. You may wish to keep your distance from me, for your own safety. I once had to make a similar decision at Avalon -- play the game as determined by Ryan, or risk censure and banishment. To my horror, despite my respectful manner and diplomatic approach, I was quickly surrounded by the goons and "taken out". It felt like a swift kick to the groin at the time, but in retrospect, it was one of the best things I ever did, and it greatly contributed to my personal evolution. I wouldn't want that to happen to you against your will, so feel free to give me whatever distance you require. I will understand.

 

A quick reply...

There is only one thing of the above post #360 by Chico that I feel I need to clarify as to what I had written to which Chico responded.

Sam Hunter said: ↑
What I have learned is that it is not what someone does that matters. it is (for one) who they are doing it to that matters. (and then what you didn't quote - In addition, it is all about the group that someone is a part of that determines what actions are deemed right or wrong.)

Chico replied
I have finally learned the opposite, that it is indeed what someone does that matters. This is the basis of the Golden Rule, "Do not do to others what you would not want done to you." Essentially the "you" there is the collective "you", meaning all of us. Who the action is being done to is not important. That it is being done to any one of us is what is important. It is the action itself, and the intent behind it, that must be judged.

What I did not do correctly was to make it clear I was being sarcastic. I was pointing out what I have come to believe is one of the most prevalent MOs you'll see repeated by these internet gang/mobs. I thought the reader would sense I was being sarcastic.

I am fully in agreement with and/or appreciation of all the rest of your reply. I can see, especially with you, I really need to be more careful in what I write. That is a compliment to you, Chico, as I can see you write exactly what you mean and I haven't noted you using sarcasm, etc. You also write very clear and use English and grammar well which is something else I like and which is what I try to do. I need to stop with the sarcasm for sure.

As to the rest of your post, I feel they are all excellent responses. I must add though that whatever the owners of PA or any internet portal that derives income from donations does with that income is their right to do as they wish. PA could maybe change their model to a subscription model or support the site with advertising and other options as could many of these venues do. I have no experience in regards to hearing or reading anything publicly stated as to what PA does with donations other than to pay the monthly costs and perhaps retain donation income above those costs which may be used for support of any or all the owners and/or sent to some of the admin and mods who put in lots of their time and heart into the site or perhaps to a member in need. I just cannot know any of those things. If, for example, a number of $5,000 a month was a realistic and reasonably correct average then after the expenses of what, just over $400, I cannot imagine anyone living high on the hog on $4,600. I can imagine living comfortably, but certainly there's no one becoming a millionaire on that other than income. The site itself likely has value which I would imagine would only retain that value if Bill Ryan remained a member that contributed equally to as he has done lately. I can't begrudge him on either as I have a sense of all the effort he has put into that site and put into building the icon known as Bill Ryan.

Sooo... at this time I feel that if Bill Ryan comes up again, I best not engage at that level because I do not wish to be seen as "not a friend" of Avalon. I gain too much from threads in that forum and it is no exaggeration how that forum has benefited me.

 

Experience often has great validity, but it doesn't necessarily always have great validity. For example, you can be fooled, as can I. Yes, many people operate out of angst or anger, but that doesn't mean all people do.

Keep in mind that all sociopathic traits are human traits that are exaggerated or diminished outside of the norms.

I have recently been looking into the dynamics of group sociopathy. There is a lot to it.

It's more complex than that. The "line" is usually drawn by sociopaths, who are heavily invested in secrecy (or privacy) because of the need to hide their deceptions and manipulations. We have been brainwashed to accept their "standards" of privacy as reasonable, when in fact we are just being manipulated to serve their purposes. For example, you know how privacy is publicly emphasized at Avalon, but it's basically a façade. PMs are not really private at Avalon. They can be read, and the administrators have been caught doing exactly that. Hypocrisy like this is the mark of sociopaths.

You can see how tenuous perceptions can be, yet you assume when perceptions align that there probably is no "maybe". I think that tendency towards certainty is often in error.

That's how the sociopaths see it, as "their business". It is not how many of the donors see it. I don't recall Ryan clearly stating most donations would be used to provide him a standard of living greater than that of most of the donors.

I have finally learned the opposite, that it is indeed what someone does that matters. This is the basis of the Golden Rule, "Do not do to others what you would not want done to you." Essentially the "you" there is the collective "you", meaning all of us. Who the action is being done to is not important. That it is being done to any one of us is what is important. It is the action itself, and the intent behind it, that must be judged.

Right and wrong is subjective. Each of us has our own concept of right and wrong. For example, criminals see it one way, non-criminals see it another. Ultimately, it is humanity as a group that is the final arbiter. Any given sub-group of humanity, especially one led by sociopaths, is not a sound choice to define what is right and what is wrong.

Of even greater importance is the realization that everything is opinion, and opinion is not always truth.

Bill Ryan is not a "target". He's an example that I have personal experience with, just as you do. I use him as the particular example here because we share the Avalon experience. Our experiences were different, which is always the case, but they do share common ground, that being Avalon. I could easily use Kolin Evans (aka digitalindustry, administrator at the now defunct Quark forum) as an example, but you have no familiarity with him, his forum, or the scam he ran there. And that's too bad, because the astounding parallels between the two forums and their two owners are of incredible educational value.

If I am understanding you correctly, I would mostly agree it is not OK. I would point back to the Golden Rule I quoted above. But note that the Golden Rule can become flawed if the individual "you" is used rather than the collective "you". In such a case, a sociopath (or any other human deviant) will interpret the rule differently from the vast majority of other humans.

 

One more comment. I think it was yesterday that I thought to myself that I really liked the look and feel of this forum and thought, wow... who might have put such time and heart into this? Of course, I would guess this is Rose. But I have done even more browsing and it is not just the look and feel... it is also some content created and placed into the forum. So, as a reaction to this, based on my appreciation of this, I went to look and see if there was a way to donate (support) the one(s) who spend so much time in doing all the work needed and...

I could not find a button or link.

It was at that moment I became convinced this forum really is a serious work of love, passion... and so I felt I needed to ask Rose what she might be hoping for from those she accepts as members in case I might be able to bring more of that out as long as its the real me... open, honest... even if I reveal my own sociopathic tendencies... the good, bad and ugly as long as I don't get too ugly and don't do too much bad.

And yet also... its best not to ask, its best to just be me and hope that I bring as much or more to this forum than I might benefit.

I am listening to Stephen's DJ mp3 and I sure do enjoy his music and when he shares his thoughts and opinions, I swing from enjoying and appreciating them to... perceiving the energies he could sometimes bring forth that seemed so unnecessarily abrasive. Mirror mirror... on the lovely virtual wall.

mp3 finished... I will listen to this again... and again. Stephen had lots to say that, for me, I was glad I heard and felt I could benefit from hearing it. Mixed with great music too... I will miss the music that Stephen won't be turning me onto now.

 

as open and transparent as I can be...

This thought and part of my post that you referred to was something that has occurred to me several times because it was based on my own experience. No one had to tell me that, I lived it. At that time I had no relationship with Bill anyways other than a few PMs - certainly no relationship. I had retired, not been kicked out. That meant I could ask to unretire at any time. I had always wanted to keep that door open. It was my public posting here at inphinite which an Avalon mod had seen and deemed that I wasn't a friend of Avalon just a month after I had retired that caused me to be switched to deactivated. This happened at a sensitive time and was not done by Bill. My retirement was also surely seen as "me" choosing a side when I know it was "me" staying close with the few who had left because I had become quite close with specifically one and had developed what felt like a very good relationship with another. Also, and interestingly enough... just a month before all this happened, I was PMd at Avalon by someone who emerged later to become a high profile internet personality who, by the time I made that first soft post here at inphinite had become quite close for me, already had a relationship with one of the two mentioned and who I reintroduced to the other.

Interestingly, many of the traits you have been able to bring out in the sociopath thread, I have found not only in myself, but many others. It makes me wonder if most of us are hybrid sociopaths. And that those who show an effort to overcome their sociopathic tendencies and become part of groups can remain in those groups as long as they act as a "team player" with regards to each of those in that group. Yet, at any time if a group member see through another group member who has developed quite a charade, they better be prepared for the whole group to go to then do so many of the same things I have seen noted in the sociopath thread to the one who left the group. Again, this was my experience. This type of internet mob/gang activity happens all over the place. I have learned several lessons via this experience. I have seen double standards applied to folks by almost every proactive personality in any of these groups. I have experienced this directly.

I made mistakes. I am sure many others have too. I am famous for weaponizing things. I finally see the difference between what I have done and what is done by others. My MO is to perceive being wronged and then find every way to defend myself which could include bringing out the "tabu" private communications. Yet what if I was dealing with a sociopath?

I recall this statement of yours on the sociopath thread in reference to another

Where is the line drawn as to what someone can reveal was communicated in a one on one situation? I am honestly asking because what I have learned is that in cases where someone does feel they should reveal a one on one communication to a wider audience or perhaps bring out into the public like here in the internet, they do so and what makes it right or wrong is about the various "who"s involved.

After my last experience with this confusing dynamic I made a rule that if, in any one on one communication the possibility of emotional entanglement arises, I will express my boundary in the kindest way. I will even stop the relationship if needed as I learned it is not worth it to one day have so many good relationships ended by others in a group who can act in sociopathic ways and do so, so swiftly and eagerly because I may no longer buy into the BS of a rising one that so happens to be in that undefined and unnamed but very tight group.

In fact, you know, Chico? I understand why there's the term "solitaire" in the pagan community. I can now understand why one would be that instead of part of some coven. I also reflect on what I am seeing with my one year old grandchild, she is already beginning to attempt to manipulate her mom. And for the first time a few days ago, she ran game on me. Of course it was minor and of course I gave into her demand to be picked up. But have I already opened the door? When will I have to draw the line as surely that day will come. Apologies I wrote so much (something I am also quite famous for and something others take issue with, but hey - it is what it is as the Chanter says).

Apologies I did not acknowledge that I understood your point. I just felt there's a bigger point. I simply, quickly reflected upon myself. I think what I am saying is that I see so many folks doing so many things which then must be perceived by others which are often perceived differently and often perceived incorrectly from what the original "doer" might have intended and so again I am writing what I am seeing which (to me) is from what I call the helicopter view. And that is the view that sees how sometimes a single individual can be targeted and targeted so consistently and relentlessly that I wonder if we all don't suffer some from both being targeted or being a victim at some time where in another circumstance we are pointing our guns either as an individual or as a group thus producing another victim unless that target is bullet proof and some are. I feel I need to be. But I also feel I need to be vigilant that I don't ask to be a target. Another lesson I have learned... well maybe. I have concerns that I will continue to be somewhat a target because I so far have not resuccombed to letting others think for me. I noted the comment of research further in the post and so I hope to comment as well on that thought when I come upon it further down.

But in cases where the wronged and the ones who did wrong both agree and it is posted by both parties or their representatives via media that anyone can come upon that these things actually happened then probably there's no maybe to it.

Yet also, perhaps in the minds of others Bill has done so many terrible things, they feel justified in whatever they might do to Bill. I am not saying this is the case, I am not saying I have any hint that this might be the case. What I am pointing out is again a "helicopter view" that however lovely we may feel it is to have the internet, we also see that the phenomena of "trial and execution" by internet has blossomed and matured where internet gang/mobs are all over the place.

Please read again my quote.
"or that they [the donations] would be income for the owner(s) of the site." (over expenses)
How Bill (and other owners if there are any... I really do not know nor assume to know) get the remaining funds over expenses is their business. I see no wrong that folks who own and/or manage and/or put time in on keeping any internet forum running may also financially benefit. This might also include someone like Bill supporting himself from the site. I see these donation buttons and links on almost all these sites.

This next statement is simply made as an example of again (helicopter view) of what I now see as a prevalent and repeated form of posting I found on forums and blogs and comment sections. As far as how much average income might come into PA or any site for that matter, I would have no clue and perhaps that might be considered private information.

What I have learned is that it is not what someone does that matters. it is (for one) who they are doing it to that matters. In addition, it is all about the group that someone is a part of that determines what actions are deemed right or wrong. Again, I know this one very well now based on personal experience. There's a video out there where I allow myself to be an example in this regard and where I am the real me throughout. Perhaps that real me is somewhat a sociopath. I say this because despite the whole three hours being the real me and despite the feelings I expressed, I didn't throw away my ability to use all my faculties to see the double standards and well... general hypocrisy that the applications of these double standards represent.

I actually have. I do this with many of the various high profile folks and groups that I have come upon while exploring the alternative community. I didn't set out to do this, it has happened as a result of searching for understanding in relation to my own unexplained anomalous experiences as well as attempting to obtain a better understanding of our world which we all know you do not get via the mainstream anything (media/culture/your parents in most cases/your loved ones and friends, etc). But I also have my own personal experiences. Part of these personal experiences entail being in a position similar to Bill's except obviously on a much smaller scale. I'm a nobody who only became a somebody to a few folks because I posted on forums and then met some of these folks through the forums. As much as I became someone's somebody I will be fading back into the forums having learned what boundaries I need to set with regards to internet relationships. One of the things I have decided is that I hold my own opinions which are far more sound when based on personal experience and not solely on the opinions of others despite that they may have had their own experiences which they base their opinions on.

Chico - I appreciate your passion for this subject, sociopathy. I really want to explore this more because I am worried as to how much of a sociopath I may be and I don't want to be one. I have already benefited from some of your words. I just wish so much of these posts didn't end up targeting Bill Ryan. But hey, that's just my wish.

Let me ask this. If folks use approaches regarding someone specific... approaches we wouldn't want used against ourselves because we have made a case well enough for ourselves that the specific individual is for the most part a sociopath, why would that be ok? I really want to know. I don't feel that is ok. And I do not just mean doing this publicly. I mean all the way down to the one on one which eventually can play a significant role in creating an internet gang/mob.

Why are we not also looking at that phenomena?

 

That sounds like the kind of rationale Bill Ryan would use on his adoring flock.

You will also find that all the Mormons who have ever criticized the Mormon church are also ex-members. Why? Because the church kicks them out.

Bill Ryan uses the same tactics.

But it's essentially fake. How could it not be fake when the censorship is so rampant? What does that tell you? It's controlled opposition, with emphasis on "controlled". Of course, you may claim there is no censorship, as so many Avalon cult members do. The degree of denial on that forum is truly something to behold. It astounded me. I am reminded of the quote at 42:30 in the 9/11 video I recently posted, where someone said, "Even if what you are telling me is true, I wouldn't believe it." The denial coming from Bill Ryan sycophants is at that same level.

You missed the point. It's not about your integrity. It's about Bill selling his integrity to the Avalon membership. He has to resort to the deception of salesmanship because his integrity is essentially fake.

Maybe they didn't do them. Maybe that's just the way Bill has spun the story so that others will react with the same shock that you experience. I've seen Bill do this so many times, and in the beginning, I was falling for these sob stories too! So I am well aware of what a convincing deceiver Bill is. He's a master at it.

For Pete's sake, what do you expect a lying sociopath (or his loyal minions) to post! Of course that's what Bill will tell the membership! Christine will tell you differently. So will Bill's ex-girlfriend that confided in me. She was keeping the books on Avalon, and Bill was free-loading on those funds! She knew because Bill was funnelling the money through her personal bank account in Switzerland to keep the income hidden. If I remember correctly, Bill was pocketing over $5000 a month.

Really, Sam, you need to do your due diligence. Don't assume Bill is ever telling the unvarnished truth. He happens to be big in the varnishing industry. But don't believe me. Please do the research yourself. It will be much more convincing that way.

 

Here's my bottom line problem. I have observed that all the negative stories related to Bill Ryan appear to be from former members of Avalon. Maybe some folks are more than just former members of Avalon, but I have yet to happen upon anything negative coming from anyone that was not a one time member of Avalon. This says to me that there is a possibility that the negative comments are in part motivated by angst over whatever happened that led to them no longer being a member of Avalon. I grant that there is a great deal of this but also, Avalon was and may still be a top forum (if not the number one forum) in the English language that is focused upon the vast subject matter we lump under the heading "alternative community."

I know my own experience there was an extreme case... where I literally experienced resurrection from worse than death. But I still imagine a ton of folks have benefited from being a member there or benefited from being a reader of so many incredible threads found on that forum. Bill did something right to take that forum and make it what he did.

I looked at that thread that was linked here - Integrity. It is funny how in some circles I am looked upon as someone with reliable integrity. Yet oddly enough, in this lovely alternative community, depending on who you speak with, I would be seen as having none. I have looked at all of this very closely and found that the only way I can maintain integrity is by developing and sticking to a rather strict operational protocol when involved with individuals in this community. To be a member of a forum is to join a multi-faceted group. I found groups to be far more complex than individuals when it comes to online relationships. A forum is like a basket of individuals and groups. I had to write up some strict guidelines on this so that I would stop making the mistakes I had made that led some folks to hate my guts.

I still experience one real serious type of "lapsing" and that occurs when I feel someone has been wronged. Especially when an internet gang/mob goes after them making them out to be the bad guy all and only to protect a few of their own. I have experienced this once and once was enough. So I see Bill Ryan, someone who has never wronged me have his own experience which belies credulity. At least I have a hard time believing that folks who appeared to be examples of what I had thought would be wonderful if most folks in the world could become (ie. spiritually advanced beings - whatever that might be)... how could these same folks actually do the things they have done to Bill? I see that street going both ways in many of the incidents one might happen upon on the lovely internet.

I wish whoever is reading this post could hear my words spoken... see me and feel me. Because I know that the words I just wrote will be read and interpreted and spun in ways that are used to support the opinions some have about me and to conclude I am just another Bill minion. But I am not. I am worse than that. I haven't had anything to lose and so I simply have been myself, a curious one who has taken risks and was not afraid to get close to anyone. I have explored so much of the underbelly that exists within so much of this community and I have started to see a picture I never wanted to see but hey, that's what curiosity can sometimes bring.

Donations.

I recall Rose asking me something about that. I don't think anyone is under any impression that Project Avalon is some official charity where their donations are tax deductible. From my understanding (which was made public) PA has monthly expenses of several hundred dollars. I would assume all donations that exceed that amount (if they do) would be saved for months where donations may not meet that monthly minimum or that they would be income for the owner(s) of the site. All I stated there is what I recall seeing posted publicly. Best to ask Bill directly if more information is desired.

 

This sounds like the Christine / Karelia versus Bill Ryan and sycophants debacle. I caught part of this episode and commented on it here. It had relevance to me because I have heard this story before privately from another of Bill Ryan's discarded lovers. These women get to see behind Bill Ryan's mask, and what they eventually see is quite ugly (at least to non-sociopaths). Bill is a sexual predator, like most sociopaths. You are naturally baffled because your experience with Bill has not allowed you to see behind the mask. You only see the projection Bill wants you to see, and Bill is very skilled at this. The true Bill is not revealed to you, and so you experience a baffling cognitive dissonance with what your mod friends express to you, one of whom has extensive intimate experience with Bill. That intimacy makes all the difference. Behind closed doors, one-on-one, is when sociopaths will often let the mask slip by accident, or discard it completely on purpose as they stick the knife in.

Bill is a bad guy. He's a sociopath. Sociopaths are the source of human evil. Sure, he's charming, well liked, entertaining, dynamic, exciting, erudite, and oh so convincing. He had me fooled, and singing his praises, for a number of months. But when I caught on to all the censoring he was doing at Avalon, and understood why he was doing it, and worst of all, started talking about it, he banned me so quick it made heads spin.

Of course, not all sociopaths are necessarily bad guys. Some are much worse than others. A few don't seem bad at all. But the very worst among our species are indeed sociopaths, probably without exception. Bill Ryan is no Kissinger or Stalin or FDR. But I bet he wishes he were.

Still, I don't expect you to believe me about Bill Ryan, because it doesn't jive with your experience. If you want to know the truth, you have to do your own research. The truth is out there, and it's not exceptionally difficult to find in the case of sociopaths, once you know what to look for.

 

Here was the video I saw of Simon Parkes where he described an event that occurred to him when he was 3 to 3 1/2 years old.

It was just before Christmas, 2012, when I discovered Simon Parkes. The first video I saw was this one -



at 7:30 – “... and what happens is, they want to put something into my hand...” (note, later Simon says it was his “left hand”).

Simon then goes on to describe the experience and what the "Mantid Mum" told him was the purpose in place this object into his left hand.

What I later learned was that Simon was born on September 7, 1960. I was born on September 19, 1957.

His experience occurred when he was 3 to 3 1/2 years old (I have heard him say both). Mine happened at least a few months after I had turned 6 years old. What this means is that what happened to him and what happened to me likely occurred within a very short window of the same stretch of time.

At the moment I realized all this and due to the openness and clarity Simon demonstrated in the interviews, I hoped one day to speak with him such that maybe he might help me unravel the mystery I experienced about the event I had at six years old, a mystery that has been so important I solve that I have sought out many folks who have risen to prominence in the Alt Media Community. Stewart Swerdlow, Eve Lorgen, Peter Moon to name a few.

I also should mention that I had been (for years) an avid fan of the phenomena known as "synchronicity." I do not mean casually. I have spent much time in observation and contemplation of manifestations of this phenomena. My conclusions about "it" today are far different than the ones I held for so many years but these conclusions are not relevant to this post. Why though that I brought this up is that I had some quite incredible synchronicities related to Simon Parkes.

The "loudest" one happened in October of 2013 when I watched a video of a presentation made by Simon Parkes entitled,
Born to an illuminati family [Simon Parkes] Lifting the veil conference Leeds 2013


In this video Simon speak about how he was made to watch certain television programs when he was a child. He mentioned a few shows yet focused mostly on Patrick McGoohan who stared in what was called Danger Man in the UK and Secret Agent in the US. Simon mentioned how his mother had told him, “If you grow up like him, I will be very pleased.”

That really spoke to me because I loved that TV show when I was a kid and when I started playing guitar around age 11 my very first song I learned was Johnny Rivers' Secret Agent Man.

But then Simon mentioned the show McGoohan did called The Prisoner. That really caught my attention as several months before I had ordered The Complete Prisoner Megaset. I had never owned any DVD that was not a movie my entire life yet I had strangely felt compelled to buy this set several months before.

And that was when "the inner compelling" as I call it... (it's not a voice, but it might as well be as I get "directed" to do something)... the inner compelling told me to look up the date of Simon's presentation which turned out to be June 22, 2013. And then "the compelling" told me to look up the date when I ordered the DVD set and when it was sent. The order date was June 21, 2013 and the date it was shipped was June 23, 2013 which essentially sandwiched Simon's presentation.

The purpose in sharing this one example of not just an odd synchronicity, but the interaction I have with this thing I call "the inner compelling" is because this has been a significant type of experience that has accompanied me for well over thirty years now since I started paying closer attention. In addition, I should add that I used to think I was being directed or interacted with some incredible (and what must surely be benevolent) "presence" that I had entertained was "God" (whatever that might be). This type of thinking (of course) played a big role in the development of my own narcissism, specialness, megalomania and savior complex pathologies. It is only within the last several months that I began to alter my theories such that I now see the greater possibility that if some "3rd party" has actually been involved in influencing "me" such that via my creative abilities I generated these synchronicities which I then interpreted in ways that were not in the best interests of others as well as myself... that if this 3rd party actually exists, "its" goals are likely not in our best interests.

The reason I wrote all of this is because I feel fairly certain that similar experiences to the anomalous type experiences that I have experienced have been experienced by many of these folks who then go down the road to become "Alternative Media Experiencer Stars" or AMES as I now call them. Yet, whereas I never took the ball from the 3rd party(s) such that I then would begin to embellish my experiences to the point I essentially end up making most of it up, I always stuck to the very boring single anomalous event which I really experienced when I was six years old. I also have only shared all my experiences precisely as they happened. I have also shared the vast library of documented and supported clearly-beyond-all-odds synchronicity experiences. I am not saying this to toot my horn. I am saying that if I can do this, so can others who have interesting, unexplained experiences where the most important thing we need to do is stick only to the exact truth.

All I shared above supports why I am tired of all the scams out there. I don't care they get attention, I don't care they maybe make money or fill a hole of irrelevancy. My only beef is the deception. And I see even the slightest bit of embellishment when it comes to anomalous or fantastical experiences as deception.

Stephen had me convinced this also was important to him. Yes, i quickly saw all the other issues, hell... I have plenty of my own, but gosh... I had no clue that such an energetic being could develop into someone who not only wasted all that energy but drained the energy of almost everyone he engaged with.

I wish the best for Stephen. I make odds high though that some real bottoming out may need to occur. I don't like writing anyone off yet, as Chico seems to suggest... maybe there really is no realistic hope for almost all sociopaths until they depart their current lifetime. All I can do though, is work on myself. PA has helped me do that. So has the One Truth Forum. And now,also, so has inPHInet.

 

Hi Rose... The first time I ever publicly posted about this event was on April 26, 2012 at PA. At that time my best theory was that the experience was some sort of "abduction" though I would not say that now as I wasn't taken anywhere... I describe the experience in this post - Here's the link - http://jandeane81.com/threads/9100-...FINALLY!?p=841949237&viewfull=1#post841949237

Here's the text -

 

Just after I retired from PA on January 13, 2015, I stayed in close touch with a small group I met through that forum. I am unsure the exact date but it seems either late January, early February of 2015 I received an e-mail from one of them. In that e-mail happened to be a link to this forum and specifically to this thread. The e-mail seemed to suggest that "something" was being said that would enlighten me further regarding BR. Why that was important was because, as I said above, Bill had never done me wrong, but yet I had followed this crowd that felt they had been wronged. I am certain a part of me was still seeking justification for leaving PA because I was very much experiencing conscious regret that I had. So the link I followed was to this thread and a post by Houdini that was clearly derogatory to Bill Ryan. There was all sorts of things stated in that post and others. Again... like a fool, I decided to believe there may be something to this. I also felt compelled to express why I retired from Avalon.

So I made a very soft post in this thread with regards to why I left without the full honesty as I shared in the post above. A few days later I was informed by a friend that they had seen my status on Avalon changed to deactivated. I later learned that the post I had written was interpreted that I was no longer "a friend of Avalon." Now that it is more than a year later and that I have learned so much more about the inner workings of forums and the emotions that are generated, especially when it comes to groups that are highly loyal to each other, and under the circumstances of the mod that was demodded and the friend mod who quit and that I was properly identified as "with them," I now can very much understand why those actions were taken.

It was from the moment I learned I had been deactivated (which I later learned was not done by Bill), I ramped up my angst and so over the next 7 or so months, when a special circumstance arose, I posted some words I now regret. As mentioned earlier, I eventually was offered my membership back and I took up the offer and do not wish to lose it again. So we are now at the part of the story that explains how it went weird with Stephen.

Just after I had made my post, Stephen responded directly to me. I was a bit star struck and replied perhaps by PM in a way that Stephen seemed interested in communicating with me and I was informed of this by Rhi. Rhi then had a scoping out Skype conversation with me. In that communication I was "cleared" to chat and speak with Stephen.

Side Note: I have been reading the sociopath thread and I see how I flew straight into the flytrap. Uuughhhh I feel so foolish - even still today I feel like such an idiot.

The following is an example of how this strange universe seems to work (against me) - lovely...

OK so... just before the communication I was provided a Skype address which had the numbers 676767 at the end. It just so happens that my favorite number is 19. And I just happen to know that the number 67 is the 19th prime. And that the three 67s can be seen as three 19s. And I knew that three 19s add up to 57. And I knew that by using two digit English language gematria, the word "magician" = 57. And I shared that with Stephen somehow either via PM or perhaps in the Skype chat before we ever spoke.

Stephen acted like he loved that... something about him being a "resident magician" (written under Houdini) or something like that. I recall him telling Rhi all sorts of praises about "me" and well... as you can understand and as I can now see - he had me well set up.

I won't bore you with the in between prior to why Stephen asked to have me deleted other than to say I thought Stephen was intent on exposing the frauds out there... and I am speaking about the folks who become Youtube stars based on their fantastical, otherworldly adventures of which they have zero proof but claim their testimony (and message) should be all that matters. These folks really bugged me (and this stuff still does to be frank).

So now I need to go back and give details of the thread at Avalon which fell under disfavor. A year or so before, Simon Parkes had joined Project Avalon. Soon a thread was created where folks would ask Simon questions and he would answer. I had seen a video of Simon's where he had an anomalous experience which had a key element to it that matched my only bona fide anomalous experience. He was 3 1/2 years old and I was 6 years old. I later found out his birthday and realized that his experience and mine happened no more than a month or two apart. I have searched for an explanation for this experience ever since my first recall, when I was 8 or so years old. So I asked Simon about it in his question/answer thread. From there an exchange occurred where he then suggested we go to PM which we did. we then decided to discuss things on Skype and he gave me his Skype ID (one of his I later learned). We added each other and I believed we were poised to have the conversation yet... despite a few odd exchanges where he would leave a message when i was asleep and I would message him (even seeing him green) but would get no response, I finally reached a point of frustration and made my thread on PA where i suggested Simon needed to either follow through or at least respond in some way that he was covered up, may need some time to get back to me and maybe it won't happen. Instead I just got silence.

So I posted about it and was pretty much slammed by some rank and file members and then a few mods. I didn't back down from my position - that being that if a high profile alt community star essentially makes arrangements to discuss something important to the questioner and then just blows them off and won't respond at all, then I felt I had the right to call that out on the very venue where all of the per-arrangements took place. I felt folks like Simon needed to operate at the highest standards possible as these folks (like Simon) become very important to folks (like me). Bill was kind to me and made some posts and then wrote me a PM too but he also closed the thread. That happened within the same few days my mod friend was asked to step down. Having that experience with the thread was not really a bad thing. I understood (more so later) that Simon meant a lot to PA and I probably should not have made that thread, perhaps I should have handled it via back channels (some of the mods there).

Yet interestingly enough, because of that thread, I was contacted by a gentleman who PMd me based on his own experiences with Simon. We communicated via Skype and by the end of January 10, 2015, I had over 100 pages of chat conversation (when placed on a Word document) with this friend. Him and I enjoyed a great mutual affinity. I was able to explore some things I had been working on which featured my desire to get to the bottom of that experience I had when I was 6 years old. He offered an explanation in the midst of a fantastical personal story where the details synchronistically linked up to important and most meaningful experiences of my own.

So I suddenly felt that via my new friend, I would go beyond what I might probably learn going further with Avalon and well... my friend had been wronged (according to that friend) and so I retired January 13, 2015.

The reader will understand why I have written what now looks like mundane details very shortly. But first... It was, I believe, March 13 or 14, 2015 when I made a post in this very thread highlighting that Simon Parkes was selling "soul readings" and I listed his rates. I noted that the rates seemed very reasonable. Atticus then contacted me and by this time he knew I had become very disillusioned with these alt media experiencer stars and wanted to expose the frauds. Atticus, having read my post, said... "get the goods on Simon." I still had my sore spot for being dissed and so I was up for the idea.

And so here's where the Universe once again does something very weird.

Just before all of this (perhaps three or so months before) I somehow happened to have been in a group Skype chat in which Corey Goode was also a member. We must have traded contact info but we had never chatted. Soooooo, the very day after Atticus told me to "get the goods on Simon," my Skype lights up and there is Corey Goode. To summarize as best as possible, Corey said... (paraphrased) "I see you on Atticus' thread and..,well, Atticus seems to have something against me so I didn't try and take this to him but..." and he proceeded to tell me about some not so nice things regarding Simon Parkes and that perhaps Atticus wishes to "break the story first." Note he also told me he had to remain anonymous.

So like the fool I am, I copied and pasted exactly what Corey had typed to me and then replaced Corey's name with "Mr X" (or something like that) and then PMd Atticus that oddly enough... this may be the goods Atticus might be looking for. The reply I got from Atticus (which came several hours later) was totally unexpected. I can only guess at some of this but what I think Atticus did (should I have been surprised?) is sized me up and then sized up Simon Parkes where he decided it would far more benefit Atticus to take the info to Simon (as if he's some savior for Simon) and he turned around and threatened me with all sorts of legal this and extradition that, etc.

In reflection, I should have told Goode to take it to Atticus himself. But i was a bit star struck both by Goode and Atticus and played opportunist. Yes... I have been learning lots of lessons the hard way in 2015 and still some in 2016.

So as it ended, Simon deleted me from Skype a day later and thus I concluded Atticus did somehow alert Simon of what was going on. Of course, after Atticus threatened me, I decided to have nothing to do with him again. And it was soon after that that Atticus asked you, Rose, to delete my account. I suspect part of that may relate to the PMs which, if things went certain directions, I would be able to show how I told Atticus that this was what I classified as hearsay and that he did tell me to get him the goods yet I had no clue if he should even do anything with it as it was some nasty stuff.

So there's that part of the story which... morphed into other things including Atticus chasing folks around other forums but it died down after a few months. I only heard in late 2015 just a small bit about what may have happened here, ie. the DDOS attacks or some sort of hacking... I only heard things third hand. After things calmed and when i saw the forum seemed to become sane, and because I like the feeling here, I asked to rejoin and I was granted my membership again.

I know I write book chapters but I feel these details might be important to some readers and I am stating here that they are quite accurate.

 

Same story for me. My first forum too. It didn't literally "save my life", but it was pivotal in my development.

Bill Ryan is a successful sociopath. I admit he's likable, charming, witty, knowledgeable, and oh so convincing, but so are all successful sociopaths. I can't fault you for liking him, because I liked him too. Fortunately, I was able to look past my emotions, and I don't regret having done so, as all the data ever since confirms his sociopathic nature.

But it's fine for us to have different opinions about Bill and Avalon, and I'm enjoying your perspective. Please continue your story.

 

Ok... this will probably come out in parts but I will keep it chronological.

I recall the Rulers of the World video by Bill Ryan and a guy facing the other way, then called "Charles." At that time I was into "waking up" since 2002 when I was handed a copy of The Biggest Secret. I was still in fear stages too at that time. I had been at Project Avalon as a member since December of 2011, but did not dive into it deeply until mid March 2012. The way I utilized that forum... it is no understatement to say that that forum and what I got out of it truly saved my life. That may sound melodramatic but I can assure you it is no exaggeration.

This was my first forum experience. Over time I made friends with folks and at one point had made friends with some of the mods. One of those relationships had become quite special for me based on the way we explored things in our many chats and voice conversations. This relationship was, for me, sacred. In time I learned that this mod was quite close with another mod who I also came to know and appreciate.

In early 2015, the mod who I had been most close to was asked to step down. I don't know the reasons. I would imagine that there were valid reason, at least to Bill and/or the other mods, but I never understood about why as it wasn't my business to know. Because I was so close with this mod as well as the mod's friend (who stepped down as a mod because of this), and because I felt a need for loyalty to those mods, I listened to their stories and accepted them as true. The stories (as one would understand) made it out that Bill had done them wrong and that Bill was some bad guy. I have since come to find many people who have similar things to say which frankly baffles me. But I am baffled based on my own experience. So anyways, just after the demodding (around January 4 or 5, 2015), I retired from Avalon - on January 13, 2015.

Because some folks may think there was more to my retirement than that... Note that I had never experienced anything difficult for myself from any of the mods at Avalon or the owner, Bill Ryan that I did not play a role in creating (except the one I will cite momentarily). I was never once vacationed though I did take a self imposed one week vacation. There was only one instance where I felt the rank and file membership, the mods who reacted and Bill himself took issue with a thread I created which did feel was a little unfair but Bill handled it diplomatically and I now have better understanding as to the concerns my thread raised. This occurred simultaneously to when that mod was asked to step down but neither had anything to do with the other. I will get to that thread in a moment as it is relevant to this story.

So after I left Avalon, I felt a hole in my life. I realized what that forum had meant to me and yet I was torn because someone very close who I had met via Avalon felt they had been wronged by Bill and eventually felt wronged by other mods. At that time I did not know what would unfold over the next 12 or so months but if I had... I would not have retired from Avalon.

Specifically Bill Ryan... And honestly, I am concerned about how this will be taken by the folks here but I have to be transparent. As I said at the beginning, Project Avalon literally saved my life. And I found Project Avalon because of Bill Ryan. I discovered Bill Ryan when I discovered Project Camelot. I have liked Bill ever since. Anyways... I allowed the opinions of others to be what I based my decision on to leave. I will never do that again. Not in this virtual world community. I will only make my own decisions for myself based on my own experiences. I will not join groups or clicks where I might find myself being pulled in directions I would not go on my own. I learned. I am now independent in this way. I also made a decision I will not create bannings or leave forums in some tantrum or to "make some point." For me there's far more to gain by respecting each forum and retaining membership than leaving or being thrown out.

I felt it important that I be very transparent about this because... because all of the rest of what happened in 2015 which includes the question you asked Rose which ended up that Bill gave me the opportunity to become a member of Avalon again.

I have read many posts here on inPHInet and it seems that Bill is not liked by some of the folks here. I do not have issue with that because each person has their own reasons in this regard. I feel bad for Bill but I certainly would never begin to assume I know better for another as to their own experiences. Still and again, Bill has only ever been kind with me or... direct with me when he felt it wise to do and I can say that when he has been, in looking back, he had a point.

My next post will get to the important stuff that answers your question, Rose, but I felt I owe it to you and inPHInet to be open that I am a member of Avalon and that I have a good relationship with Bill Ryan, that PA literally saved my life (and if asked and separately, I would be happy to explain how that all came about)... But that I am not here to speak either way about Bill Ryan other than how he was a part of this story which I would imagine both he and anyone else would have no issue with as long as I am truthful.

That story begins in the next post.

 

Ok, Rose... I will do so. Give me a few days and I will have the post ready.

I should change that silly pic too.